Have you lost your sense of humour?

Have you lost your sense of humour?

Your other half tries a bit of banter with you and you just don’t get it.

Your mate sends you a meme and you scroll on by.

Or your kid is finding the most ridiculous thing hilarious - not even a giggle from you.

There comes a point in life where we forget to be fun. Not just have fun, but be fun. I mean, it makes sense - responsibility, expectations from the world, shit things happens and we get cynical and jaded.

But there can be more to it than that.

Being heavy and serious and loosing our sense of humour makes sense to those of us who are stuck in survival mode (and heads up - most of us are).

If our nervous system has been stuck in a stress response for some time (maybe always), then it’s job is to keep us safe, focus on threats and dangers, stay small, and don’t let our guard down. So it’s difficult to switch gears into a more relaxed, open, playful state. When our baseline state is stress, we are not interested in things that appear ‘non-essential’, we don’t have the capacity for it, and we may even find it uncomfortable to move into this more relaxed state.

So you find yourself getting irritated by the jokey, happy people - their stupid. But deep down you feel disconnected and sad because you want to feel lighter and playful again.

I want you to know, that you make sense.

I have ridden this rollercoaster a few times, and in my experience if we want to feel lighter, playful and humorous again, we have to allow ourselves to feel the painful stuff too. We need to recognise that we have been stuck in a state of stress, and feel the sadness/anger/frustration that comes with that.

We need to know that we are wired for connection, curiosity and playfulness - it’s part of being human and not something to be postponed or reserved until the serious stuff is done. In fact it’s the antidote to stress!

So next time you find yourself feeling heavy and serious…

Pause and take a big deep breathe. Look up at the world around you and see what’s beautiful about it.

Recognise that your system is in a state of stress and has disconnected from your relaxed, playful part. This is a pattern you have developed for good reason - there’s nothing wrong with you.

Smile, drop your shoulders and look at the people around you. They are all trying to find their sense of humour too (this is funny in itself!). Connect with them, Find it together.