Are you living in the past?

Are you living in the past?

What's your reaction to that question? What comes up in you? What do you feel in your body?

Maybe you feel a little unsettled, a little sad, a bit offended.....

You might think about someone sitting in a rocking chair lamenting about the old days, or someone who keeps rehashing the same old story.

But most of us (unconsciously) are living in the past. I say unconsciously because it's likely we're not aware of it.

The way that we react to situations, feel about ourselves and the world is being driven by our patterns from the past. Patterns that were created when we were children as a way to survive and make sense of our world and the people in it. This was completely unconscious and served a very good purpose of keeping us safe - we survived and made it to be fully functioning adults (most of the time ;)

But what happens when some of those patterns start getting a bit annoying, unhelpful and cause us more harm than comfort?

Are you becoming aware of ways that you think, feel, react to situations that are really unhelpful or are keeping you stuck?

Let me give you an example of one of my patterns from the past....

Independence - I was brought up to be pretty independent. It served me well. I could live on my own, take care of myself and even set up a business all by myself. Good qualities eh. But I had a deep belief in me, that it wasn't safe to ask for help. It showed up in my friendships, where I would never really talk about how I felt, but would always listen to how they were feeling. I would leave conversations feeling frustrated and disconnected from them and to be honest a bit envious of how freely they could let it all go. It showed up at work - I wouldn't delegate things to others, which left me working longer and harder to get everything done. What was once a really helpful pattern, started to become like a heavy weight holding me down. My independent pattern was exhausting me.

Through coaching, therapy, mindfulness and lots of inner work, I've managed to release this pattern from the past. I have created a new present pattern for myself. A pattern that allows me to ask for help, to show vulnerability, and most importantly to feel safe whilst doing it.

When I can feel the old pattern rise up, I can spot it and bring myself into the present pattern. I can feel it in my body, and remind myself that I am safe. Right here. Right now.

I know how it feels to be able to see clearly the patterns that are holding you back, but not knowing how to change them. It steals our joy, and stops us living life the way that we know that we can.

I also know you don't have to keep living in the past. It is completely possible for you to be the most fabulous current version of you.

So if you feel like this has hit home for you, then I would love to help. I have spaces available for you to work with me over the next 3 months. If you're here for that (I know I am!), then you can book in a 'getting to know each other' call, where we can chat and decide if working together would be a good thing for you.