Integration over transformation

As a coach I’ve always cringed a bit at the word ‘transformation’. Something about it feels a bit too ‘Tony Robbins’ for me.

In the coaching industry there’s lots of talk about transforming people and their lives and some would even call themselves ‘transformational coaches’ (great if that feels good to you), but for me and my slight British cynicism it’s just a stretch too far.

But today I’ve realised why this term really feels cringey for me…

I actually don’t believe that any of us need transforming. We don’t need to change into something else.

What we really need is to integrate all parts of ourselves to become the whole and complete person that we were from the start.

Integration is about opening up to all those parts of us that we’ve left behind - the hurt and the wounded parts and also the innocent, naive and spontaneous parts.

To be able to see them and make a space for all of them at the table.

Some days we will need to call on those parts of us to give us some words of wisdom, encouragement, a kick up the arse. But no part of us needs to be left behind or transformed. Every part of you has helped you be the person you are today.

And look.

You made it this far!

You don’t need transforming.

You need to love, accept and make a big space for every bit of you that ever was.

That is integration ❤️

So maybe I’m more of a an Integration coach than a transformational one?… I’ll go with that