Our life experience happens on the inside

Have you ever looked at your life and thought...

'Wow, I have so many things to be grateful for, so many wonderful people in my life, and so many lovely experiences to enjoy'

And yet on a day to day basis maybe you feel anxious, stressed, lethargic, sad, hopeless?

The thing is, our life doesn't happen in the doing of the things. It happens in how we feel when we are doing the things. It happens in how we feelwhen we are not doing anything. It happens in our internal experience on a day to day basis. 

Life happens on the inside.

Let me give you an example...

A group of friends are at a party. They are mingling, chatting and dancing (let's cast our minds back to pre 2020 ;). Everyone is having a 'great time'. Are they all having the same experience? No. They are having a shared experience AND an individual experience. One of them had an argument with their partner before leaving the house. They are uptight, angry and upset. They keep thinking about what they said to each other and it's distracting them from the conversation at the party. Someone else is tired, they've had a long day and are looking at their watch, wondering how soon can they get to bed. Someone else is completely present in the party, listening to their friends, asking questions, dancing, feeling relaxed and happy.

Same party. Different experiences.

How we feel on the inside is everything. Our moment by moment experience, makes up the minutes, hours and days of our life.

We can do lovely things, but if we are not able to enjoy them then what's the point..

It's so important that we create the conditions so that we can feel good on the inside. It might sound strange that we have to actively 'create the conditions' to feel good, but so much of our modern day life takes us away from ourselves that often we don't know what actually makes us feel good.

Wouldn't it be awesome to know that you could tap into feeling good at any time, regardless of what was going on around you? And I don't mean necessarily feeling joyous if your cat has just died, but an inner knowing that your 'feel good' place is inside of you and that you are familiar with it and hang out there regularly. That you know what it actually feels like and how to access it.

If you are not sure what that 'feel good' feeling is for you anymore, here's some ways to get back in touch with it...

Pay close attention to your mood throughout the day

Keep a little note pad with you, or use the notes app on your phone. 3 x daily ask yourself 'How am I feeling right now?'. Sit still for a few minutes and pay attention to your body. If there are no obvious feelings, make note of any physical feelings - 'tight belly', 'tingly hands'.. During the day, notice any pleasant feelings. Stay with them, enjoy them, savour them before rushing off to the next thing. Make a note of those feel good moments.

Make an intention to choose joy

Ask yourself each day 'What one thing am I going to do today to feel joy?' No matter how small, make a promise to yourself, book it in and do it! For that joyous moment, forget about everything else.

Come back to yourself

When you notice yourself getting anxious, stressed or generally feeling meh. Put your hand on your heart and take some deep breathes. Feel your feet against the ground. Tell yourself you're safe and allow the feeling to pass.

Just like we can train our bodies to be fitter, faster, stronger, we can train them to feel happier, calmer and more peaceful too. We need to exercise our feel good muscles.

Create a life that feels good not looks good