Why don't people 'reach out' when they're struggling?

One of the things clients appreciate most about our time together is that they can talk freely, slowly, uninterrupted. There’s space and freedom and deep listening.

We all like to think we can listen, but honestly, when it comes to the people we love, we are the worst (me included). We know so much about our loved ones that we can finish they sentences for them. We are so invested in them, that we will do anything to make it all ok for them - it comes from a place of love.

But what we want to give our loved ones is not necessarily what they need.

How many times have you so badly wanted to share how you’re feeling with your other half/friend/parent, but you just know that they are going to (let’s put it bluntly’) start ‘meddling’. Telling you how great you are, offering up some well meaning advice, just trying to make it better already.

It drives me up the wall!

‘I just want you to listen’

‘I just want you to sit there and let me pour my heart out’

‘I don’t want to have to rush, because I know you’re going to jump in any second’

‘I don’t want you to make it better. I just want you to let me be. As I am. Right now’

‘I want to hear my own words fall out of my mouth and feel your presence catch them’

‘I’m scared/lost/confused and I need you to be a safe pair of hands’

When we have big feelings, the greatest thing someone can do for us is shut up and be present. Be warm. Be curious. Be patient.

This is a skill. An art. An act of love.

To be fully present with someone as they bare their soul is a rare gift. It allows us to naturally process, metabolise and integrate what we have been carrying for potentially a very long time. It is deeply trusting, brave and empowering. And it feels like a relief!

“The session helped me realise that I'm not as stuck as I feel and that I can improve my situation. Instead of advice and judgement (as is often the case with family and friends), I felt I could talk freely and I felt listened to. I'm the person people confide in in my social circles - which means I don't often get to confide in others. Hence, me seeking out Leah. And I'm so glad I did.”

Scarlett.

So if you have been going round in circles in your own head or been led around in circles by your well meaning loved ones, I’m all ears and heart.

I have a brilliant offer on for individual sessions this August…

A 90 minute session for £99 (normal price £250). This session can be used in August or September. Check it out here