The Truth Will Set You Free

This week I had my Fresh Air Fridays session in Bute park and nobody came. To be honest, I was a little disappointed, as I was really looking forward to sharing this months theme of ‘gratitude’ with a group. I love it when a group of people come together, share ideas and leave the session with a warm fuzzy feeling inside, and I can’t wait to share photos of that on my social media, so that others can see how these sessions could be great for them too. So on Monday, I went to my session anyway, walked around Bute park and practised gratitude. I was actually grateful for the extra time that I had, where I could take a walk, go into town and pick up some things ready for my trip to Italy this weekend! So it actually turned out to be a pretty good day.

But it got me thinking though about how quick I am to share the highlights of my business and my life online, and play down or brush over the stuff I’m not so proud or excited about.

As it’s Mental Health Awareness Week and an opportunity for us to talk more openly, I think it’s important for us to speak about what is really happening in our lives, to be more honest, and share what is real for us right now. One of the biggest attacks on our mental health and sense of happiness is comparing ourselves to others, believing that what we see of other people’s lives is the full picture, when we ‘know’ that can’t be the case. Even though we ‘know’ this on a rational level, without actually hearing and seeing others sharing their reality, it can be so easy to fall into the comparison trap, which can leave us feeling isolated and lonely. I see this so often with young people that I work with, where they think that everyone else has got it sorted and that there must be something wrong with them because their life looks nothing like the ‘highlights reel’ of their peers. But as an adult I can feel like this sometimes too, when I’m scrolling through my news feed, or having a ‘beat myself up’ day.

So on Monday I decided that the best thing for me to do was be real. Rather than just saying nothing about my ’empty’ session I recorded a video of me alone in the park and uploaded it to the Fresh Air Fridays members page. Where I would usually post photos of my fun filled session, I talked about feeling disappointed and asked them how they deal with disappointment. I talked about the stuff I’m sharing here, about feeling inadequate sometimes when I see others doing great things in their business. And it felt very freeing!
I really believe that the way forward for us to feel happier and less lonely is to be ‘real’ with each other, to show our ‘humanness’, to share the highs and lows of life. The pressure to have it all together is robbing us of our mental health. It takes courage to be real, but personally I know that when I am it allows other people to be real too, and that’s when we feel connected.
As they say… ‘The truth will set you free’….

Last year for Mental Health Awareness Week I wrote a personal blog for the Huffington Post about how I dealt with the loss of my brother and sister to mental health issues. You can read it here. Even though it was scary to be so honest and real, the response I had from people who could relate to it was so positive and comforting, that it was worth opening up.

So how can you be more real? How can you share more of what’s true for you right now? What are you not saying that you would love to get off your chest? It doesn’t have to be big and public, it might be giving an honest answer to the question ‘how are you?’ from a friend. You will know when you’re being real, because someone will breathe a sigh of relief and maybe say ‘me too’! Phew, another human just like me!