A morning rave brought me back to life

Somewhere along the way we lose our innocence.

We lose our sense of wonder.

We lose connection with ourselves.

Responsibilities, expectations from the world, shit things happen, and we get cynical and jaded.

Our soul gets heavy, and we feel a bit dead inside.

We disconnect.

This makes sense to those of us who are stuck in survival mode (and my guess is – most of us are).

You’ve probably been though a lot and you’ve been incredibly resilient. So, it’s difficult to switch gears into a more relaxed, open, playful state.

It can be hard to just be you.

I know what it’s like to lose connection to that innocence.

In 2014 my brother and sister died. After many years of battling with addictions and themselves they died of deep unhappiness and a part of me died with them too.

After this, I had to learn to accept my life and allow myself to fully live it. I had to slowly reignite that wonder within me. I had to remember how to see the good in the world. I had to reconnect with my true self again.

I can remember the moment that woke up that wonder within me. It was 7am on a Saturday morning in Notting Hill. My partner and I had gone to a morning rave, sober. I walked in and saw all these people dancing so colourfully, so joyfully. It was beautiful and overwhelming with sadness. Like I hadn’t realised what I had been longing for, until it was there, right in front of me. I had forgotten that I could feel this, and to see people connected to their own sense of innocence and wonder, woke that up in me.

Over the years I have intentionally tended to this. Practicing again and again to come back to the present, to come back to myself, being with my grief, offering myself compassion, teaching my nervous system how to feel safe in the ordinary, appreciating nature, being in stillness, making space for play, dance and joy. It’s been one hell of a cocktail!

And it’s this cocktail that I weave into my work – for people like you and me to sip together in this experience of bringing you back to life.

If this resonates with you, then let’s chat.