Grief is the opposite of trauma

A quote by Dr Gabor Mate

‘Trauma, in some ways, is the resistance to grief. Genuine grieving is the opposite of trauma.’

I know it can be scary to allow ourselves to feel certain emotions, and even scarier to share them with someone else.

When I lost my brother to suicide, I spent a lot of time hiding what I was really feeling and thinking for fear of the reaction from the other person. I could sense that they didn't want to go there, and to be honest neither did I, but I had no choice - it was my life.

So I sugar coated the truth of my experience, created a narrative that made some sense of my grief and that was palatable for others to hear. If they really knew what I was feeling and thinking they would run a mile. I mean it wasn’t pretty.

Over the years, I have learned how to befriend my own feelings. I have sat with them long enough that I'm no longer afraid of them. I have huge compassion for them and myself for feeling them.

So I want you to know that I am not afraid of your pain.

I wish that I had had someone who had said that to me - because what's worse than being afraid of our own pain, is feeling like everyone else is afraid of it too. It's a lonely place AND it doesn't have to be.

So know that should you choose to work with me, all your feelings are welcome, because when we allow ourselves to feel the full range of our human emotions, that's when we really come alive!