Are you tending to your own needs?

I was running a group session this week and the theme was 'Filling yourself up first'. We were talking about how we can really take care of ourselves, what makes us feel good and how can we give ourselves what we need.

Two things came up that I want to share with you......

1. People not knowing how to fill themselves up

2. People not knowing if they need to fill themselves up at all

The first one didn't surprise me, but the second one, I was a little stumped to be honest.

Why would someone feel like maybe they have no need to fill themselves up? Like self-care just isn't something they need.

It got me pondering, and here are my thoughts...

From a very young age we are taught to suppress our needs and not listen to our bodies.

- Wait until break time to go to the loo.

-Take your jacket off in class, even though you're cold.

- Don't sit cross legged on the chair, sit up straight, even though it's uncomfortable.

- Wear clothes that look good, but feel horrible.

- Put on a smile, even though you feel sad.

- Don't give you're opinion, unless it's asked for.

I could go on and I'm sure you can think of more.

On top of this, we are taught to be more concerned about the needs of others than our own - people pleasing at the cost of ourselves.

So it's no wonder why we might think that we don't have needs at all! We have been overriding them for so long, that we are deaf to our own human needs.

If you are reading this and thinking 'THIS IS ME'. I want you to know that it's not your fault and is completely understandable given the above.

So here are some ways you can start to tune in and get reacquainted with your own needs:

• 3 times a day, stop and check in with your physical needs - Am I hungry, thirsty, tired, cold? What do I need right now?

• Set an intention for the day - Think of 1 word that describes how you would like to feel today. Come back to it throughout the day.

• Go on a 'pleasure hunt' - Get your radar on to notice what feels good to you in your day. Enjoy it, make a note of it, do more of it.

If you have supressed your needs for a long time, it can take a little while to make friends with them again. That's ok. Just know that every human has needs and it is essential that you meet them. For you and everyone else around you.