Changing what you believe is like trying on a new outfit

I was working with a client yesterday and I came up with a lovely analogy that I wanted to share with you.....

If you read my letters regularly you will have heard me say - 'Your thoughts are not facts'.

The things that we think and tell ourselves about ourselves and the world are not facts. They are ideas and beliefs that we have inherited over our lifetime.

They become patterns that we repeat automatically, and because they happen so quickly it can be easy for us to think that they are just who we are.

But this is not true.

It's likely we are aware of some of our unhelpful beliefs. The ones that make us feel bad and lead to decisions or non-decisions that have a negative impact on our lives.

The good news is we can change them - with intention and practice.

I asked my client to identify some of their unhelpful beliefs, and we played with thinking of some more helpful alternatives.

This felt awkward! Of course it would. If we've been thinking and telling ourselves something for decades, even suggesting and alternative makes us cringe.

Imagine that you've been hanging out in tracky bottoms and a hoody for years (well, at least the lifespan of lockdown life!). Now I'm asking you to pop on a sparkly dress! Yeah, a bit uncomfy isn't it?

And that's the attitude to bring to belief work - We are not suddenly going buy in to a new set of beliefs. It's going to feel a bit uncomfortable, unfamiliar and suspicious. Our mind and body want to keep us safe and familiar, even when it doesn't seem that way.

So if you are working on speaking more kindly to yourself, unlearning some old ways of thinking and feeling, or even starting a meditation practice, bring some lightness towards it and remind yourself - it's just like trying on a new outfit :)