You are not 'unmotivated' Maybe your nervous system is trying to protect you
Do you sometimes feel stuck, lacking motivation, or lethargic? You have things you want to do (in your mind), but your body just doesn't want to move.
Maybe you tell yourself you're lazy and unmotivated. I don't think this is the case.
Let me explain what is happening in your nervous system. This information can be hugely relieving to know, because instead of thinking 'WTF is wrong with me?', we can start to think 'Aha that makes sense. I make sense'.
Buckle up for a mini lesson in Polyvagal theory.....
Our autonomic nervous system has 2 branches:
The sympathetic and the parasympathetic
The sympathetic
When this branch of the nervous system is in action, it triggers our 'fight or flight' mode. This is a very old survival state and was super useful when life was dangerous and we had to fight or run (flight) away from tigers etc. It prepares us to take action. In modern life, we generally don't have to deal with such things, but our 'fight or flight' mode kicks in when we sense threat or danger. Depending on our individual upbringing, environment, physiology and current life situation, we may have a pattern of going into this mode or getting stuck in this mode more often than is necessary. A healthy, regulated nervous system will go into sympathetic mode in order to react to a threatening situation, and when that situation is over, it should return to the parasympathetic branch.
The parasympathetic
This branch is found in the 'vagus nerve'. The vagus nerve is divided into two parts - the ventral vagal pathway and the dorsal vagal pathway.
The ventral vagal pathway is our 'safe and social' mode. We will be in this part of our nervous system when we feel safe, calm, and connected to ourselves and others.
The dorsal vagal pathway is our 'freeze' mode. This part of our nervous system takes over when we feel unable to 'fight or flight' the threatening or stressful situation. It is a survival response and protects us by shutting down.
(I hope this is making sense - this is a very brief rundown of 'Polyvagal theory' by Stephen Porges and if you're curious you can read this handout here that I share with my clients).
So, back to feeling stuck and unmotivated.....
Ok. So firstly let's know that all this is happening below our level of consciousness. It's likely we are unaware of it.
Secondly, when I say 'threatening or stressful situation' - our nervous system evolved when life was physically dangerous (tigers!). It has not evolved to differentiate between that and the chronic stresses of modern life (eg, deadlines, to do lists, onslaught of information coming at us from emails, social media, 2 million tabs open on our desktop, that difficult conversation we need to have).
So when you've got something you need to do and you're stuck and NOT doing it, or you feel disconnected and numb, chances are your nervous system has become overwhelmed and gone into 'freeze' mode (dorsal vagal).
There can be many reasons why we go into 'freeze' mode. It's likely that it's a protective strategy that our system learned when we were young - something was too much for our system to cope with, so we needed to shut down.
I guess what I'm trying to say is - 'It's not your fault'. Your nervous system is trying to protect you, and the strategies it's adopted have worked really well - You survived. You are here!
If these patterns of feeling stuck, numb and unmotivated are stopping you enjoying and living life, it is possible to change them. It is possible to regulate your nervous system and remind your body and mind that you are safe.
This is part of the work that I do with my coaching clients. I teach them practices to help them feel safe so that they can do the things they really want to do, and have the capacity to cope with the challenges that life inevitably throws our way.
If you’re interested and ready to change this, check out my coaching experiences here and let’s chat.