'Just be yourself' It's not that easy...

I've been taking a slower pace the last few weeks, with a bit of time away and easing myself into a new season. It feels good.

My ideas for these letters to you, often pop into my head when I'm on my yoga mat, when I'm meditating or in the shower! This morning it was a shower idea :)

I want you to know that much of my time and energy is spent working on myself. The work that I do, the ideas, creations and wisdom I share doesn't happen by chance. I am a constant work in progress and it takes conscious effort for me to create the best conditions for the good stuff to happen for me. I get told 'you're such a positive person, 'an inspiration', and it really does mean a lot to me, but without practicing things that support me to be this way (like meditation, yoga, spending time in nature, silence, questioning myself, making time for fun and creativity) I could quite easily slip into a hole of hopelessness.

People say 'Just be yourself'.

Going to an interview? - 'Just be yourself'.

Starting a new school? - 'Just be yourself'.

Going on a date? - 'Just be yourself'.

If the easiest thing to do was to be ourselves, we would just be ourselves every day. The truth is that the world doesn't help us to be ourselves. Since we were really young we got told..

'Don't be so noisy'

'Don't be so shy'

'Be more confident'

'Don't be arrogant'

'You're too fat'

'You're too skinny'

We quickly get the message that just being ourselves is not ok. So as we grow, we adapt and change, cover up and dilute our real selves to conform to the expectations of others. Then we become an adult and we're absolutely knackered from keeping up appearances. Exhausted, burnt out and generally jaded with life because we are expending so much energy (mostly unconsciously) trying to conform.

So, just being yourself, is not that easy.

You may remember me talking about life being a return journey. A return to our inner child. The person we were before the world got hold of us and piled a load of shit on top of our true soul. And this is the work I'm talking about. This is what I consciously work on every day - becoming more myself. If I left it to chance, I wouldn't be running my own business and writing these letters to you. I wouldn't push through the resistance to rest and show up in my business in a way that goes against the business rules. I would get sucked in to the belief that I have to work really hard to be a good person. I would listen to the story that I can't follow my ideas and create things that bring me joy AND earn a living from them. I just wouldn't be myself.

So, do you find it hard to just be yourself? Do you get pulled to say and do things that you know are just not you? And it can be subtle. I'm not talking about being fake, but just getting pulled along by life because 'that's just the way it goes'.

One thing that helps keep me true to myself is staying inside my own body. I know this might sound strange. But when I can feel myself going away from myself (doubting a decision or idea, maybe saying yes when I really mean no), I pause, take some deep breathes and feel my feet against the ground or feel the weight of my body sitting in the chair. I remind myself that I belong to myself, and I am here in my body and nowhere else. This is a practice. Do it regularly throughout your day until it feels familiar. It's much harder to get swept away by the outside world when you are grounded in your body.

Give it a go, let me know how it feels....