Learning to accept what's ordinary and average about you
Something that has helped me live life a little more on my own terms is learning to accept my ‘ordinariness’ and ‘averageness’. I know it seems a bit odd and maybe self-deprecating, but it’s really not that. In fact it’s massively empowering and freeing. We are told to strive for being our best selves at all times, to be amazing and continuously improve ourselves which I am up for on the whole, but it comes at a cost. To start with ‘the best’ and ‘amazing’ are completely subjective and elusive because what I think is amazing will be different to you, so it’s an invisible bench mark. Also we CANT be amazing at everything, and don’t need to be. Often good enough is good enough and frees us up to focus on the things we want to give our best energy to.
When we can accept what’s ordinary and average about us, we are pretty magnetic actually. If I think about the people I know who are cool with their flaws, cock ups, and boring bits AND are able to celebrate their awesomeness too, they are bloody rock stars in my eyes and I love being around them. That to me is radical self-acceptance, and if you’re interested in how to cultivate that I would suggest you read ‘Self Compassion’ by Kristin Neff.