Soft is the new strong

I’m taking a wild guess here, but I’m guessing you’ve been incredibly strong in your life. You’ve overcome some difficult stuff, and yet here you, still living your life.

I’m guessing that people come to you for support.

I’m guessing that you might be described as ‘the glue’ that holds your friendship group together.

I’m guessing that others might think you’ve got your shit together.

I’m guessing that you’re probably known as an optimist.

I’m guessing that you don’t like to disappoint others or let them down.

Are you tired yet?….

While your strength has served you (and others) very well, it can come at a high cost.

The energy it requires to keep being strong can be exhausting, and to be honest - is unsustainable.

Being strong requires ‘armour’, like as if we are going into battle.

Being strong requires us to brace and tighten up our shoulders - you wonder why you feel like your ‘shouldering a lot of responsibility?’

And the thing is, we don’t know any other way to be. Like how would we get through life if we weren’t strong? Would we be weak?

What if we allowed ourselves to be soft?

What if we slowed down the pace, just by 1%?

What if we said ‘no’ once in a while?

What if we let someone else take care of things?

What if we allowed ourselves to fall apart? To be messy? To say ‘I don’t know what to do here?’

What if we allowed our heart to break?

As you read this, maybe you’re cringing, maybe it feels impossible.

Take a deep breath.

Drop your shoulders.

Soften your face, your eyes, your belly.

Allow your body to sink into the chair - be held. Let go. Feel the support.

One of the biggest lies we’ve been sold is that we have to be strong all the time. That if we were to soften, to relax, to rest the world would fall apart. It won’t.

And one of the toughest challenges we face is to learn, believe and experience that softness and to see that all that armour we built up was to protect our fragile hearts.

This is the work of strength and courage.

It’s what you, I and the world need now more than ever.

We can’t keep pushing. We can’t keep the pretence up.

We have to let go and trust that our soft, messy, flawed humanness is the medicine we all need.

So, If you are still reading. This is the work. This is my work. If you want to join me - let’s chat.